The very word reconciliation causes many separated couples to break out in a cold sweat. They panic at the thought of exposing their battered hearts to another potential beating. They're certain they can't face another rejection or betrayal. Sadly, few people are taught how to guard their heart and require trust to be re-earned when the covenant has been broken. They're so determined to avoid being vulnerable, they won't entertain thoughts of reconciliation. 

“和解”一词会让很多分居的夫妻吓出一身冷汗 。他们会害怕随之而来的争吵，他们认为几乎不能再面对拒绝和背叛。可悲的是，很少有人被教导如何保守他们的心，当誓约遭破坏时如何再次获得信任。人们为了避免受伤害，他们不愿意接受和解。

However, there are some essential steps couples must take if reconciliation is to be successful.

然而，如果希望和解成功，夫妻必须采取一些必要的步骤。

First, both spouses must be one hundred percent willing to do the hard work necessary to repair the marriage. The journey will be challenging, exasperating, and at times painful, but the results are worth it.

首先，夫妻双方必须百分之一百愿意做必要的努力来修补婚姻，这个过程充满了挑战，使人恼怒的，且常常让人痛苦，但结果是值得的。

Second, if one or both spouses has had an intimate relationship (physical or emotional) with a third party, all communication with that person—phone calls, letters, e-mails, or visits—must end. If he or she works with the spouse, a job change should seriously be considered.

其次，如果其中一方有了婚外情（无论是身体上还是感情上），那么与第三方的一切联系：电话，信件，电子邮件，见面等等，都必须停止。如果对方是工作上的同事，那么可能需要考虑换工作了。

Third, both parties must be willing to go to counseling. The couple should take time to find the right Christian counselor, someone who is qualified to deal with issues that they're struggling with, such as, adultery, addiction, or abuse. Finding the right counselor is like buying a pair of shoes; sometimes you have to try on several pairs before you find the right fit.

第三，双方必须愿意去咨询。夫妻二人应该花些时间寻求一下基督徒咨询师的建议。他们有资质和经验可以解决你们之间的问题，如婚外情，成瘾行为和虐待。寻找一个合适的咨询师就像买鞋一样。有时你可能要多试几双才能找到最适合你的鞋子。

Fourth, restoring a marriage takes time. Rushing the process and avoiding or downplaying painful issues typically leads to another separation and divorce. It's tragic when a marriage that could have been reconciled is destroyed because the root cause was never treated.

第四，恢复婚姻需要时间。冲动、回避或淡化痛苦等行为通常会导致再次分居或离婚。对于一段婚姻来说，如果矛盾的根源没有解决，将导致随后的和解失败，那真是一场灾难。