Perhaps more than at any other time in history, women today need a clear understanding of how they should relate to their husbands. In fact, the significant social changes brought about by the women's movement over the last few decades have led to such confusion that the very idea of "roles" is repugnant to some. They feel as if somehow they lose their identity and their freedom if they adhere to some type of "outdated standard."

或许现今社会的妇女比历史上其他任何时候都要更清楚地理解该如何与丈夫相处。事实上，过去几十年间的妇女运动带来的重大社会变化导致了混乱的思想，“角色”一词令某些人反感。如果坚持某种类型的“过时的标准“，他们觉得失去了身份和自由。

It's important for us to look clearly at what the Bible says on this subject. And while the Bible doesn't apply our modern word "role" to marriage, the Scriptures are clear about the unique responsibilities God assigns to a wife. .

看一看圣经上对于这个主题是如何阐述的，对我们来说非常重要。事实上，圣经并未在婚姻中使用”角色“这个现代词汇，而是清楚地显明上帝赋予每个妻子的特别责任。

#1: Be a helper to your husband.  

       做你丈夫的帮助者。

While all of us are called to be helpers to others, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives. Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn't good for man to be alone, and that He decided to make a "helper suitable for him" (Gen. 2:18). It is interesting to note that the Hebrew meaning of the word helper in this passage is found hereafter in the Bible to refer only to God as He helps us. The fact that this same word is applied to a wife signifies that we women have been given tremendous power for good in our husbands' lives. God has designed wives to help their husbands become all that God intends for them to be.

尽管我们在很多方面都被要求做一位帮助者，而在圣经当中特别强调了一位妻子作为帮助者的重要性。创世纪中告诉我们，上帝觉得男人独居不好，因此为他造了一个适合他的帮助者。（创2：18）很有趣的是，在希伯来语中“帮助者”这个词在后来指的是上帝帮助人类，由此可见上帝已经赐给女性巨大的能力在婚姻中帮助丈夫。

#2: Respect your husband. 

      敬重你的丈夫

In Ephesians 5:33, Paul says, " … the wife must respect her husband." When you respect your husband you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him. It means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his needs and values.

在以弗所书中，保罗告诫我们：......妻子也当敬重她的丈夫。 (以弗所书 5:33 和合本)”当你敬重你的丈夫，关注他，看中他，归荣誉给他，爱他，尊敬他。那意味着尊重他的意见，崇拜他的智慧和性格，欣赏他对你的承诺，并且留心他的需要和价值。

Our husbands have many needs. The macho man who is self-contained, independent, and invulnerable is a myth. One day Dennis gave me a list of what he considered to be some of the primary needs most men have: 我们的丈夫有很多需要。一个大男人少言寡语，独立，不会受伤，都是虚构出来的。某天我的丈夫Dennis给了我一张清单，写满了多数男人最基本的需要:

Self-confidence in his personhood as a man.作为男人的自信

To be listened to被倾听

Companionship得胜

To be needed被需要

To me, meeting these needs is what respecting your husband is all about. To bolster Dennis' confidence, for example, I try to encourage him by being his Number One fan. Every husband wants his wife to be on his team, to coach him when necessary, but most of all to be his cheerleader. A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him, appreciating him, and cheering him on as he goes out into the world every day. 

对我来说，只要敬重我的丈夫，这些都可以满足了。比如，我只要做我丈夫的头号粉丝，就可以起到支持他的信心作用。每个丈夫都希望妻子和自己是一队的，必要的时候可以指导他，但大部分时候还是要做他的啦啦队长。一位丈夫需要他的妻子在他每天出门面对世界时可以在他身后支持他，相信他，欣赏他，为他打气。

#3: Love your husband. 

      爱你的丈夫

Titus 2:4 calls for wives "to love their husbands." A good description of the kind of love your husband needs is "unconditional acceptance." In other words, accept your husband just as he is—an imperfect person.

提多书要求妻子们要“爱你们的丈夫”，这里所说的”爱“就是指“无条件的接纳”。换句话说，照你丈夫的本相接纳他----一个并不完美的人。

#4: "Submit" to the leadership of your husband. 

服从丈夫的领导

Just mention the word "submission," and many women immediately become angry and even hostile. This controversial concept has been highly debated and misunderstood.

一提到”服从“，很多女人会立即变得生气，甚至敌对。这个富有争议的概念一直以来被高度争论和误解。

Some husbands and wives actually believe submission indicates that women are inferior to men in some way. I have known women who think that if they submit they will lose their identity and become "non-persons." Others fear (some with good reason) that submission leads to being used or abused.

一些夫妇确实认为服从意味着女人低男人一等。我认识一些女人认为交权给丈夫意味着失去她们自己，变得不重要。另外一些（一些有好理由）认为交权意味着会被利用或虐待。

Another misconception is that submission means blind obedience on the part of the woman. She can give no input to her husband, question nothing, and only stay obediently barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

另一种错误的观念是，交权意味着盲从。她不可以向她的丈夫建议或提问，只能专心于家务。

What does God have in mind? Here are two passages from Scripture:

那么上帝是怎么想的呢？这里有两段圣经上的话：

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them (Colossians 3:18-19).

你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，这在主里面是相宜的。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，不可苦待她们。 (歌罗西书 3:18-19 和合本)

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body(Ephesians 5:22-30).

你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，如同顺服主。因为丈夫是妻子的头，如同基督是教会的头；他又是教会全体的救主。教会怎样顺服基督，妻子也要怎样凡事顺服丈夫。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己。要用水藉着道把教会洗净，成为圣洁，可以献给自己，作个荣耀的教会，毫无玷污、皱纹等类的病，乃是圣洁没有瑕疵的。丈夫也当照样爱妻子，如同爱自己的身子；爱妻子便是爱自己了。从来没有人恨恶自己的身子，总是保养顾惜，正像基督待教会一样，因我们是他身上的肢体（有古卷加：就是他的骨他的肉） (以弗所书 5:22-30 和合本)

These Scriptures make it clear that a wife should submit voluntarily to her husband's sensitive and loving leadership. Therefore, as I voluntarily submit to my husband, I am completing him. I am helping him fulfill his responsibilities, and I am helping him become the man, the husband, and the leader God intended him to be.

这些经文清楚地告诉妻子们应该自愿地顺服丈夫的领导。所以，当我自愿服从我的丈夫时，我就会使他完整。我帮助他完成他的责任，并且我帮助他成为一个男人，一个丈夫，一个上帝希望他成为的人。

Building oneness in marriage works best when both partners choose to fulfill their responsibilities voluntarily, with no pressure or coercion. To become the servant-leader God has commanded him to be, Dennis needs my gracious respect and submission. And when Dennis loves me the way he is commanded to, I can more easily submit myself to that leadership.

在婚姻里建立合一需要双方都自愿地完成自己的责任，不是出于压力或强迫。为了成为上帝希望他成为的仆人式领导，我的丈夫需要我的恩典式的敬重和服从。当我的丈夫也按照上帝要求的那样去爱我时，我会更甘愿臣服于他的领导。

I do this with an attitude of entrusting myself to God. In one of his letters, Peter told us that even though Jesus suffered terrible pain and insults, He did not retaliate "but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously" (1 Peter 2:23). When you entrust your life to the Father, it's much easier to be the wife of an imperfect man, particularly when you may have disagreements.

我的态度是将自己完全交托给主。如彼得所说”基督被骂不还口；受害不说威吓的话，只将自己交托那按公义审判人的主。“ (彼得前书 2:23 和合本)当你将你的生命交托给上帝时，会更容易成为一个不完美男人的妻子，特别是当你有不同意见时。