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10 ideas to help you diffuse your anger when a child misbehaves.
10个好点子帮助你在孩子淘气时不发飙
We’ve all been there. You ask your child (for the fifth time) not to do something, only to turn around and find him doing that very thing. A situation like this one can get even the calmest person’s blood boiling and might normally lend itself to yelling, screaming, or harsh anger.
我们都有过这样的经历,当你告诉你的孩子(第五次)不要做某事时,你会发现他们根本不听。这样的情况总是会激怒即使是最冷静的人!令人血脉喷张,导致喊叫,怒吼和暴怒。
Although the misbehavior needs to be dealt with swiftly and fairly, there are much healthier alternatives to losing your cool in the process. Try one of the “After the situation” suggestions to get your blood pressure back to normal and restore unity in the home.
尽管我们都清楚可采用更健康的方式来及时和公平地处理孩子们的顽皮,但我们常常在这个过程中变得不冷静。试试下面的“善后”建议,有助于你在这种情况下让自己的血压降到正常值并且重新获得家庭和睦吧。
Before and during the situation
在突发状况之前或进行时
1. Pray. Pray for patience. Pray for peace. Pray for the supernatural ability to handle the situation as God would want you to.
1.祷告。祷告求耐心。求和平,求属灵的能力掌管这个局面,正如上帝希望的那样。
2. Take a few deep breaths. As you exhale, attempt to mentally release whatever anger you are harboring. As cheesy as it sounds, it helps.
2.深呼吸。随着呼气,试着在精神上也释放你的愤怒。听起来有些俗气,但是很有效。
3. Take a time-out in the bathroom—and lock the door. As moms of young children, sometimes we just need a few minutes to clear our head before venturing back into the battlefield. And say a prayer your kids won’t hurt each other in the process of your “Mommy time-out.”
3.在卫生间里让自己暂停一下,并锁上门。孩子们还小的时候,很多时候妈妈真的需要几分钟让自己清醒一下再回到“战场上”去。记得要默默祷告一下你的孩子们“妈妈离线”时不要伤害对方。
After the situation
大战之后
4. Be spontaneous—don’t say a word to the kids, but instead go outside and start blowing bubbles (or something equally as fun). Invite them to join you whenever they are ready. Obviously, this should happen after the discipline and consequences have taken place.
4.自然一些—不要跟孩子们说话,只是走到外面并且开始吹泡泡(或者做同样有趣的事)等他们可以的时候,邀请他们加入你。当然,这一切应该在孩子老实过后再开始。
5. Open your Bible and quickly thumb through your index to find some Scriptures on anger. Repeat them over and over to yourself. I’ve also found it helpful to have those particular Scriptures memorized so that they can be recalled at a moment’s notice (Proverbs 15:1).
5.打开你的圣经,快速指出圣经中关于愤怒的教导。一遍又一遍地对自己重复经文,我同样发现背下来这些经文可以更好地帮助你在同样的情况发生时帮助你理清头绪。(箴言15:1)
6. Turn on a movie for the kids and jump in the bathtub. Although I don’t think TV should frequently be used as a babysitter, you shouldn’t feel guilty in those moments when you need to use it as one (for your own sanity and for the temporary well-being of your children).
6.给孩子们放一部电影,然后跳进浴缸。尽管我不鼓励常常使用电视作为看护孩子的工具,但是在那样的情况下偶尔为之,也不要太自责,因为你需要理智,孩子们也需要片刻的安静。
7. Start a tickle fight. After moments of tension (especially after a child is disciplined), she needs to be assured of your love for her and that you generally enjoy spending time with her. What better way to show that than a tickle fight? Plus, laughter is good for the soul … so everyone wins!
7.挠痒痒。在紧张过后,(特别是在孩子们已经老实了以后),她需要确定妈妈依然爱她,并且依然喜欢和她相处。还有什么比挠痒痒更合适的呢?更何况笑声是对安慰灵魂最有帮助的,所以双赢局面出现了。
8. Read a book together. There are few things in our household that will calm my very energetic boys quicker than sitting down to read a book in my lap. Not only does this give everyone an opportunity to settle down, it also allows for some good cuddling time.
8.一起读一本书。没有比让我那精力充沛的儿子躺在我的大腿上读书更能让他安静的了 。这样做不仅给每个人都提供了安静下来的机会,并且也提供了最好拥抱时间。
9. Spend some one-on-one time with the perpetrator. If you have more than one child, it is amazing how enjoyable and easy it is to spend time with just one child at a time! Taking an hour or two to spend time with that child will not only reassure him of your love, but it also will be an enjoyable bonding experience for both of you.
9.和“罪魁祸首”一对一。如果你有多个孩子,那么每次和一个孩子单独谈话变得多么令人向往。和惹祸的那个孩子谈一两个小时不仅有助你向他表明你的爱,并且对于你们两个人建立更亲密的关系有益处。
10. Stop feeling guilty and inadequate. Every mother has regrets—for an unkind word, perhaps, or a harsh tone, or full-blown screaming. I fervently believe that God uses child rearing to humble our (at times) prideful hearts. Through this He is teaching us to rely on Him and not to depend on ourselves. We can’t be the kind of mothers we want to be, or the mothers our children need us to be, on our own. We must look to His strength, love, and kindness.
10.不要再感觉愧疚和不恰当。每个妈妈都会为自己不恰当的反应而懊悔,比如一个不好的词汇,一个怒吼,一个高音调等。我相信上帝用育儿这件事来帮助你去除内心的骄傲。祂借着这样的方式让我们学会倚靠祂而不是靠我们自己。我们不可能靠我们自己成为我们希望成为的母亲,或者是孩子们需要我们成为的。我们必须靠着祂的力量,爱和恩慈。
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