Singleness can be a long, lonely, and confusing road, especially when it’s unwanted. Through most of my twenties, I felt like I was born wanting to be married. God finally gave me a wife a little more than a year ago, but not before walking with me through a winding decade of temptation and sometimes failure, of waiting, wanting, and wondering why not yet.

单身可能是一段漫长、孤单、困惑的路程，对于不想单身的人更是如此。在我二十多岁的大部分时间，我觉得自己天生就是想结婚的人。一年多前，上帝终于赐予我一位妻子；然而在此之前，上帝伴我走过崎岖十年，历经诱惑，有时失败，经历等候、缺乏，也疑惑为什么还未成就。

Over many years, I learned that God does not guarantee temporary joys for his children like physical health, marriage, success at work, or children. And that’s because he is utterly, relentlessly committed to giving his precious sons and daughters what’s best for us, when it’s best for us, and only if it’s best for us.Never, otherwise (Romans 8:28).No matter how good the gift seems to be in the moment, or how much we want it,or how long we have waited, God will not abandon the greater good he has promised us (2 Corinthians 12:7–10).

历经数年，我领悟到上帝并不向自己孩子保证短暂之乐，比如身体健康、婚姻、工作成功或孩子。那是因为他视我们为宝贵儿女，他要绝对地、不懈地努力于把对我们最好的东西、在最好的时刻给我们，而且只限于那些对我们最好的。除此以外，他绝对不给（罗马书8：28）。无论当时看来这个礼物如何好，或我们多想得到，甚或我们已等多时，神不会放弃他应许给我们的更大好处（林后12：7-10）。

But we may be tempted to abandon him, to give up on his plan for us, or at least turn our backs for a little bit in disappointment. We really do convince ourselves that we know better, that we can choose better for ourselves than God can — the same God who came and died at infinite cost to save us. But we don’t, and we can’t. When we begin to feel overlooked or forgotten, or to doubt God’s love for us, we distance ourselves from him, when we should be running to him. Instead of walking away, we really need to kneel down and pray.

但是我们因受诱惑可能会离弃上帝，放弃他在我们身上的计划，或在失望中些许背弃他。我们确实说服自己，我们知道得更多，可以更好地为自己选择，甚于上帝——就是不惜代价为我们降世牺牲来拯救我们的那位上帝。但是我们没有做得更好，也不能。当我们开始感到被忽视或被遗忘，或开始怀疑神对我们的爱的时候，此时我们应当奔向他，然而我们却远离他。我们需要做的不是走开，而是应该跪下祷告。

If you don’t know where to start in prayer — how to begin talking to God daily, or how to surrender your desires and difficulties in singleness to him — here are nine prayers for the not-yet-married life, each with God’swords to help shape your longing and waiting.

如果您不知道从哪里开始祷告——如何每天向神说话，如何将我们在单身之中的个人意愿和困难降服于神——这里有对未婚生命的九个祷告，带着神的话语来帮助塑造您的盼望和等候。

1. Not my will, but yours, be done. 

不要成就我的意思，只要成就您的意思。

“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42)
“父啊，您若愿意，就把这杯撤去。然而不要成就我的意思，只要成就您的意思。”（路加福音22：42）

Not my will, but yours, be done, O Lord. If those seven words and the faith beneath them were enough to carry Jesus through the cross for my sake, they should be enough to carry me through anything in this life for his sake. Prepare me to make the most of marriage or singleness, whatever you have chosen and planned for me. If it’s not your will for me to marry, help me see all that you have planned for me — in gifting,ministry, and singleness. Either way, anchor my heart firmly in you, and not in marriage.

主啊，不要成就我的意思，而是成就您的意思。如果这几个字和背后的信心足以使耶稣为我的缘故走向十字架，也一样可以使我为主的缘故胜过今生的一切。无论您为我选择和计划的是婚姻还是单身，预备我从中最大地受益。如果您的意愿是不要我结婚，帮助我看到您为我预备的一切——恩赐、服事和单身。无论是结婚或是单身，让我的心安定在您里面，而不是婚姻里。

2. Reveal as much of yourself to me as possible while I’m still single.

当我还是单身时，愿您尽可能多地向我启示您自己

[May] the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory,give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe. (Ephesians 1:16–19)

求我们主耶稣基督的神，荣耀的父，将那赐人智慧和启示的灵赏给你们，使您们真知道他。并且照明你们心中的眼睛，使你们知道他们的恩召有何等指望，他在圣徒中得的基业有何等丰盛的荣耀；并知道他向我们这信的人所显的能力是何等浩大。（以弗所书1：17-19）

Show me more of yourself and shape my life to reveal your glory. As I walk back out on the raging sea of life and of singleness, still my faith in you and set myeyes on you standing strong and reliable above it all. Reveal how much biggerand more beautiful you are than marriage, or any other dream or desire I might have.

    向我显明您自己更多，塑造我的生命来展现您的荣耀。当我走过生命和单身的翻腾海浪时，安静我的信仰在您里面，让我定睛看您，您不变的强壮和可靠胜过一切。向我显示您更宽广更美丽，胜过婚姻、我的梦想、我的愿望。

3. Satisfy me so fully now that I never look to anyone else to make me happy. 

您使我完全得满足，我不会寻求他人使我幸福

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments. . . . I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on yourways. . . . Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways. . . . Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let noiniquity get dominion over me. (Psalm 119:10, 15, 37, 133)

     我一心寻求了您，求您不要叫我偏离您的命令......我要默想您的训词，看重您的道路......求您叫我转眼不看虚假，又叫我在您的道中生活......心怀二意的人为我所恨；但您的律法为我所爱。（诗篇119：10，15，37，133）

You are the only one who could ever truly make me happy. No spouse, no friend, no job, no amount of money could ever fill the space inside of me made for you.You are more than enough for me, and yet my heart is still prone to wander.Order my loves according to your surpassing worth and beauty, and guard my eyes and mind from being preoccupied with anyone or anything besides you. Capture my heart again, and secure it against all of Satan’s lies.

    唯有神可以真正使我幸福。配偶、朋友、工作、金钱不能填满我内心为神所造的空间。神对我来说已绰绰有余，然而我的心仍会迷茫。按您无上的价值和美丽锁定我的爱，保守我的眼睛和意念不被除神之外的任何人或事占据。重获我心，保守我心抵抗撒旦的谎言。

4. Tell the world about yourself through my joy and freedom in singleness.

藉着我在单身期的喜乐和自由向世界展现您自己

May the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant,equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. (Hebrews 13:20–21)

但愿赐平安的神，就是那凭永约之血使群羊的大牧人──我主耶稣从死里复活的神，在各样善事上成全你们，叫你们遵行他的旨意；又藉著耶稣基督在你们心里行他所喜悦的事。愿荣耀归给他，直到永永远远。（希伯来书13：20-21）

Use me and my gifts to make your name great in the world. I want my life to count for the mission you have given us. I want it to count today, even while I amstill young and single. Fill me with ambition, creativity, and selflessness for the sake of your glory.

使用我和我的恩赐使您的名在世界显为大。我愿自己的生命以神赐予的使命为重要。即使我尚年轻尚单身，我愿生命从今天开始数算。为着您的荣耀将心志、创造力和无私充满我。

5. Give me faith to trust you even when I walk through painand disappointment alone.

当我独自经历痛苦和失望时，给我信心相信您。

To keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleadedwith the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladlyof my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions,and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2Corinthians 12:7–10)

又恐怕我因所得的启示甚大，就过于自高，所以有一根刺加在我肉体上，就是撒但的差役要攻击我，免得我过于自高。为这事，我三次求过主，叫这刺离开我。他对我说：“我的恩典够你用的，因为我的能力是在人的软弱上显得完全。”所以，我更喜欢夸自己的软弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。我为基督的缘故，就以软弱、凌辱、急难、逼迫、困苦为可喜乐的，因我什么时候软弱，什么时候就刚强了！（林后12：7-10）

Help me see every loss or disappointment, every moment of loneliness, everyunfulfilled dream or desire, and every evidence of weakness as an opportunityto remember and enjoy the strength, hope, and rest you bought for me with the blood of your Son. Remind me that you are working all of this, every inch, inevery way, for my good.

    帮助我看到，每一次损失或失望、每一刻的孤独、每一个未完成的梦想或愿望、每一个软弱迹象，都是纪念和享受您藉着儿子之血带给我力量、希望和安息的机会。提醒我您用每一种方式一点点地在所有事上动工，为要使我得益处。

6. Send me the people I need to follow you. 

为我派遣所需的人使我跟随您。

He gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, forbuilding up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children,tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:11–16)

他所赐的有使徒，有先知，有传福音的，有牧师和教师。为要成全圣徒，各尽其职，建立基督的身体，直等到我们众人在真道上同归于一，认识神的儿子，得以长大成人，满有基督长成的身量，使我们不再作小孩子，中了人的诡计和欺骗的法术，被一切异教之风摇动，飘来飘去，就随从各样的异端。惟用爱心说诚实话，凡事长进，连于元首基督。全身都靠他联络得合式，百节各按各职，照著各体的功用彼此相助，便叫身体渐渐增长，在爱中建立自己。

Surround me with people who love me, and who you love more than they love me, especially while I would otherwise live alone. Reveal things about me to me through their eyes, their faith and maturity, and their words. Make me a healthier, more effective member of the local church. Give me a deep, abiding, and growing desire to serve her in whatever ways I can. Rescue me from the blindness and self-centeredness of isolation.

    尤其是当我独自生活时，使爱我之人环绕我，就是那些您爱他们多于他们爱我之人。藉着他们的眼睛、信心和话语向我显明关于我的一些事。装备我成为当地教会更健康、更有用的一员。使我有一个深深的、持久的、增长的愿望，以任何我能的方法来服务教会。让我从孤立状态的盲目和自我中心中释放出来。

7. Protect me from making work my god while I wait for marriage. 

当我等候婚姻时，保守我不以工作为我的神。

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. (Colossians 3:23–24)  

无论做甚么，都要从心里做，像是给主做的，不是给人做的，因你们知道从主那里必得著基业为赏赐。你们所事奉的乃是主基督。（歌罗西书3：23-24）

Help me see any success or progress as evidence of your grace, and wean me off of the love of money and human approval. Liberate me from the tyranny of today’s to-do list, and receive every task, every meeting, every chore,and every project as an act of worship.

帮助我视每一个成功或进步为您恩典的彰显，使我放下爱钱之心、得人赞赏之心。使我从专制的今日必做清单中得自由，将每一项任务、每一个会议、每一件琐事、每一个项目领受为敬拜行动。

8. Keep me from conforming to the world around me, and make me more like Jesus.

使我不效法周围的世界，使我更像耶稣。

It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.(Philippians 1:9–11)

我所祷告的，就是要你们的爱心，在知识和各样见识上多而又多，使你们能分别是非（注：或作“喜爱那美好的事”），作诚实无过的人，直到基督的日子；并靠著耶稣基督结满了仁义的果子，叫荣耀称赞归与神。

Finish the work you have started within me and through me, making me a little more like Jesus every day. Restrain me from doing anything to make his death lookcheap or meaningless. Equip me to increasingly think, talk, and act like someone who has been saved at infinite cost and entrusted with the greatestnews the world has ever known.

    完成您在我里面和通过我所做的工，使我每一天更多一点像耶稣。约束我不做轻看或废弃耶稣之死意义的事。装备我，提升我的思想、言语和行为，使我如自创世以来最伟大的信息所托付的人、不惜代价所拯救的人那样。

9. If you have called me to marry, help me to date differently.

当您呼召我结婚时，帮助我有不一样的约会。

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptiedhimself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

凡事不可结党、不可贪图虚浮的荣耀．只要存心谦卑、各人看别人比自己强。各人不要单顾自己的事、也要顾别人的事。你们当以基督耶稣的心为心。他本有神的形像、不以自己与神同等为强夺的。反倒虚己、取了奴仆的形像、成为人的样式。既有人的样子、就自己卑微、存心顺服、以至于死、且死在十字架上。（腓利比书2：3-8）

If you would have me marry, prepare me to love a husband or wife with the love and grace you have shown me through Jesus and his cross. Give me clarity in dating,and guard me from all impurity. Let patience, selflessness, and humility markevery relationship — every date, every conversation, every stepforward or backward.

    如果您要使我结婚，预备我用您的爱和恩惠——藉着耶稣和他的十字架展现给我的——来爱丈夫或妻子。让我清楚知道如何约会，保守我远离不洁。让耐心、无私、谦卑展现于每一个关系之上：每一次约会、每一次交谈、每一步或进或退。

In every step of my pursuit of marriage, make it clear that you are God, and I am yours.

在我寻求婚姻的每一步，清楚知道您是神，我属乎您。

整理：于姊妹