The Difference-Making Dad

与众不同的父亲

Tommy Boland

1 Jun 2018

This month we celebrate Father’s Day, first observed in the United States on June 19, 1910, in Spokane Washington. It was Mrs. John Dodd who in 1909 wanted to honor her father, William Smart, a Civil War veteran who raised six children alone after his wife died in childbirth. To be sure, Mrs. Dodd understood the biblical mandate to “Honor your father” (Exodus 20:12), which appears throughout the Bible and includes mother as well. Perhaps we did not have a father like William Smart who seemed to be more than worthy of honor. But the Commandment does not tell us to honor our father if he is honorable. Rather, we are commanded by God to honor . . . period.

这个月我们将过“父亲节”，第一个父亲节是在1910年6月19日美国华盛顿的斯波坎市开始。1909年，约翰·多德夫人为纪念他的父亲威廉斯马特先生而创立的，威廉斯马特先生曾参加南北战争，因妻子在难产死亡后一个人抚养六个孩子。可以肯定的是，多德夫人明白圣经上的教导“当孝敬父亲”（出埃及记20：12），该教导贯穿整本圣经，当然也包括孝敬母亲。也许我们的父亲并不像威廉斯马特那样值得被尊敬。但圣经告诉我们要尊敬父亲无论他是否配得。相反，我们是受上帝的吩咐要尊敬……任何时刻。

Now all of us fathers know by way of personal experience there are times when we have been less than honorable. We have said things we should not have said and done things we should not have done. We are all flawed fathers. We find a number of examples throughout sacred scripture of godly men who were flawed fathers. Jacob favored Joseph over his other sons, causing them to hate their brother and eventually sell him into slavery. David neglected his responsibilities as a father, and it is said of his son Adonijah, David never rebuked him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?” (1 Kings 1:6). No one can deny how both men pursued God with all their heart. Yet, both were flawed fathers. And the same is true for all of us dads today.

根据个人的经验，我们做父亲的都知道有时候我们真不值得被尊敬。有时我们说了不该说的话，做了不该做的事。我们都是不完美的父亲。我们在圣经上也能找到很多属灵的人也不是完美的父亲。雅各爱约瑟胜过其他众子，导致他们恨恶约瑟最终把约瑟卖为奴隶。大卫忽略了做父亲的职责，提到他的儿子亚多尼雅，大卫王从来没有责备过他，说“你是做什么呢？”（列王纪上1：6）。没人可以否定大卫王和雅各是何等全心地追求神。然而，他们都是有瑕疵的父亲。对如今我们这些父亲也是如此。

My dad went to be with Jesus on Christmas Day 1995. But if he were here today, as far from perfect as he was, I would tell him how much I loved and appreciated him for the difference he made in my life. So, to all of you who still have dads on this side of eternity, take a moment to honor him this Father’s Day. And to all of you who are dads, here are four marks that I pray will encourage you and strengthen your resolve to be, by God’s grace, a difference-making dad.

我父亲在1995年的圣诞节去见了耶稣。如果他今天还在的话，虽然他远远不足，但我仍要告诉他我是何等的爱他，感谢他在我生命中做出的改变。所以，对所有还有父亲在世的人说，在这个父亲节好好孝敬他。对所有正在做父亲的说，我为你们祷告，求神激励，加增你的决心，靠着上帝的恩典，藉着下面的四种标志成为与众不同的父亲。

1.Keep Leaning

始终倚靠

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

“你要专心仰赖耶和华，不可倚靠自己的聪明，在你一切所行的事上都要认定他，他必指引你的路。”（箴言3：5-6）

The difference-making dad leans on his Lord. As often as we think we have it all right, we frequently have much of it wrong. Just ask mom (or the children as they grow into adulthood). And that is why we must be willing to lean not on our own understanding but rather on the wisdom of God.

与众不同的父亲倚靠他的主。时常我们认为全是对的事情，反倒是错误的。去问问母亲（或是问问长大成人的孩子）。这就是为什么我们要倚靠上帝的智慧，而不是倚靠自己的聪明。

 2.Keep Listening

保持倾听

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning” Proverbs 1:5.

“使智慧人听见，增长学问，使聪明人得着智谋”箴言1：5。

The difference-making dad listens to his Lord. Have you ever wondered why we have two ears and only one mouth? Perhaps it is God’s way to tell us to listen twice as much as we speak. James puts a sharp point on this biblical truth when he instructs us to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19).

与众不同的父亲听从他的主。你是否好奇过为什么我们有两只耳朵，却只有一张嘴？也许这是上帝想要我们多听少说的方法。雅各对这圣经真理提出了尖锐的一点，他教导我们要快快地听，慢慢地说（雅各书1：19）。

3.Keep Leading

坚持带领

“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

“若是你们以事奉耶和华为不好，今日就可以选择所要事奉的：是你们列祖在大河那边所事奉的神呢？是你们所住这地的亚摩利人的神呢？至于我和我家，我们必定事奉耶和华。”（约书亚记24：15）。

The difference-making dad leads his children to the Lord. Dads are to be thermostats who set the temperature in the home not thermometers who simply record it. The biblical definition of leading – serving the Lord and serving others – is the foundation upon which a godly home is built and the pathway that leads to the Lord.

与众不同的父亲将他的孩子带到主面前。父亲是调节家里温度的温控器，而不是只是记录温度的温度计。圣经上对带领的定义--服事神，服事别人--是建立属神家庭的基础，是带领孩子归主的途径。

4.Keep Loving

持续的爱

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

“你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己。”（以弗所书5：25）

The difference-making dad loves his wife as Christ loves His church. Of all the marks, leaning, listening, and leading, loving mom is perhaps the greatest gift we can give to our children. I believe this is something every dad knows, but knowing and doing are two different things. 

与众不同的父亲爱他的妻子如同基督爱教会。在四种标志中，倚靠，倾听和带领，爱妻子可能是我们能给孩子最好的礼物。我相信所有的父亲都知道这点，但是知道和做到是两回事。

Let me share something personal with you here – back on March 6th, Kim and I renewed our vows for our Silver Anniversary. Since planting The Cross six years ago, we have been so busy in ministry, I was neglecting my most important ministry of all – my beloved wife. Nothing major, but we had drifted into living as best friends rather than husband and wife. Through the encouragement of some very dear friends, including the persistent personal “pushing” of Gesner and Nicole Joseph, the arrangements were made to go back to the place we got engaged and had our honeymoon, Disney World, to renew our vows. Only this time, 25 years later, our four children would be with us. Our eldest son Brock (21) officiated, our eldest daughter Jenna (18) spoke, and our two youngest, Katie (15) & Tank (14) were the ring bearers. Later that night here is what Brock said to me: “Dad, that was awesome, and it was as much for us as your children as it was for you and mom. Thanks!”

在此分享一些个人的经历--在3月6日，金和我在我们的银婚上更新了我们的誓言。从六年前建立十字架教会开始，我们都忙于事工，我几乎忽略了我最重要的事工--我的爱妻。没什么大事，但我们却在生活中成了最好的朋友而不是妻子和丈夫。在一些好朋友的鼓励下，包括格斯纳和妮科尔约瑟夫不断的“推动”下，我们回到当初订婚和度蜜月的地方，迪士尼世界，更新我们的誓言。只是这次，25年后，我们的孩子也在场。我们的长子布洛克(21岁）主持，长女珍娜(18岁）发言，两个小的凯迪(15岁）和唐克(14岁）拿着戒指。那天晚上布洛克告诉我：“爸爸，这对我们这些孩子，就如对你和妈妈一样，实在是太棒了。谢谢！”

In closing, these are just four of the many marks of the difference-making dad. And I know what some of you are thinking: “Man, I have been messing it up big time!” My response to you is, “Me too!” We all mess this up every day, and that is why we so desperately need the truths of the gospel each day. We are great sinners in need of an even greater Savior moment by moment. Remember, we not only have a father in heaven who loves us unconditionally, He also forgives us completely. The difference-making dad must be committed to learning from the past, looking forward to the promised future, while living in the present, not in his own strength, but in the strength of his Savior. Happy Father’s Day!

以上只是与众不同的父亲标志中的四个。我知道有些人会说：“伙计，我一直都在搞砸事情！”我想对你说：“我也是！”我们每天都在搞砸事情，这也是为什么我们如此绝望，每天都需要福音真理的原因。我们都是罪魁，每时每刻都需要伟大的救主。记住，我们不仅有在天上的父亲给我们无条件的爱，祂还完全赦免我们。与众不同的父亲需要从过去中学习教训，仰望应许的未来，在当下，不是靠自己的力量，而是倚靠救主的力量。父亲节快乐！